tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28455100571653310902008-07-12T15:54:09.201-07:00Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comBlogger533125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-39293308099815529612008-07-12T15:53:00.000-07:002008-07-12T15:54:09.281-07:00'We can shine your eyeballs with a hamburger every morning!'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-90829771661832467742008-06-23T08:19:00.000-07:002008-06-23T08:22:43.836-07:00'Why is your stomach kicking up so much dust on the road?'Johnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16809857754351633866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-9772030026466591052008-06-15T12:15:00.000-07:002008-06-15T12:16:07.620-07:00'Smelly robotic penguins are the perfect anniversary gift!'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-59389969671624408802008-06-13T12:36:00.000-07:002008-06-13T12:38:13.257-07:00'There are five Sals in my family and I'm always related to them.'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-7437664150723698772008-06-08T21:55:00.000-07:002008-06-08T21:57:31.451-07:00'I doesn't LOOK like an optical illusion!'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-9870328446521054102008-06-03T15:15:00.000-07:002008-06-03T15:36:02.366-07:00'And please, no pterodactyls with MSG - those just make me thirsty.'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-17422405441960329162008-05-28T11:37:00.001-07:002008-05-28T11:38:28.317-07:00'Does undersea goat cheese come from Capricorns?'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-14091937981993755112008-05-26T12:04:00.000-07:002008-05-26T12:06:21.378-07:00'Ghosts go well with Fritos.'Johnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16809857754351633866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-30789826328227484502008-05-18T09:24:00.000-07:002008-05-18T09:24:03.117-07:00'I'm starting to feel like a second wheel around here.'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-48601973676144581052008-05-16T10:58:00.000-07:002008-05-16T11:07:48.183-07:00'What kind of sauce do you put on a Jesus fish?'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-76775742610307395752008-05-13T10:49:00.000-07:002008-05-13T10:49:00.343-07:00'Matzo is NOT made out of flattened cats.'Johnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16809857754351633866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-61465621307448238842008-05-12T08:23:00.000-07:002008-05-12T08:24:52.689-07:00'Bleeding is not an effective way to increase the relative humidity!'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-39904278896698951592008-05-08T09:23:00.000-07:002008-05-08T09:23:01.165-07:00'It's like Tourette syndrome with vegetables.'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-88101878822468263072008-05-03T15:21:00.000-07:002008-05-03T15:23:01.152-07:00'Stop complaining about the gnomes; they live in your nose hair and have no interest in towels.'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-39664543694242592862008-04-27T16:03:00.000-07:002008-04-27T16:05:06.949-07:00'I wield a wine bottle like a girl.'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-2808756857080640222008-04-20T15:03:00.001-07:002008-04-20T15:03:39.357-07:00'It's like hearing into the infrared!'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-58915281105957026712008-04-20T15:00:00.000-07:002008-04-20T15:02:05.617-07:00'Kidney beans are the steak of beans, while black beans, if they were steaks, would be the bean of steaks.'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-41059274493627985002008-04-13T20:17:00.000-07:002008-04-13T20:18:13.428-07:00'In my next life I want to be reincarnated as a muppet.'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-70704294148727916552008-04-13T20:15:00.000-07:002008-04-13T20:17:08.027-07:00'All I have to do is use a public phone and my life will be complete.'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-68570950036871640862008-03-14T12:46:00.000-07:002008-03-14T12:47:07.802-07:00'Random acts of kindness take on a whole new perspective when they come running up with an AK-47; it's kind of like trying to kill someone with a puppy.'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-9007932737869566262008-03-14T12:43:00.000-07:002008-03-14T12:45:55.491-07:00'I don't recommend trying to add louvres to your neck.'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-15685873961147856102008-03-06T16:16:00.000-08:002008-03-06T16:21:19.386-08:00'Once you start conjugating nouns, you're lost.'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-81122892620817362522008-03-06T10:54:00.000-08:002008-03-06T10:56:43.141-08:00'Ask me about my earwax!'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-21004254821942962652008-03-06T10:53:00.001-08:002008-03-06T10:53:29.843-08:00'When a man's face falls off it's time to reassess the situation.'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2845510057165331090.post-65225255001941487602008-03-06T10:50:00.000-08:002008-03-06T10:52:36.621-08:00'By the way, I'm glad we don't chase our own breakfasts around the house.'Kristenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10972939761084558919noreply@blogger.com