‘It is one thing to manifest parking spaces and green signal lights. It is another thing to see large green men in your kitchen.’

‘Temple or no temple, dinner IS the ultimate answer!’

‘Please keep the gonad wrenching intensity to yourself, thanks’

‘You can’t say all of quantum mechanics is BS just because arrows don’t stand still when you blink.’

‘I don’t care HOW well it fits into the plot… eccentric aunts shouldn’t drive El Caminos.’

‘If you don’t want to play with me, then go eat grass somewhere else!’

‘It’s the amount of strength you have BEFORE you turn into a monkey that really matters.’

‘Lives rarely depend on your ability to make a small scratch in a piece of titanium, so we might as well get married now.’

‘Never call the dead an old potato.’

‘It’s difficult to work in a group when you’re omnipotent.’

‘I’m gonna play the odds here and say it probably upsets feminists too.’

‘You don’t know what you’re missing – it’s like a slow boring tennis game if the players were long rectangles.’

‘If my feet were breasts, this would be trampy!’

‘William Faulkner could write an exhaust pipe gag that could really make you think.’

‘You’re not Christ. You’re not Hamlet. You’re not even Ralph Nader.’

‘Do not use where children or pets are present. Avoid eye contact.’

‘Neither of you are poodles!’

‘Wait, did you say you were from the nether-regions? I grew up there!’

‘But then, stink bugs might want to dance the watusi in my shorts, but you have to draw the line somewhere!’

‘Make an aardvark happy and the world is your oyster.’