‘Your office space is NOT Feng Shui if none of your pens have caps!’
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‘Fish Licking is frowned upon, especially in New England.’
‘S’Moria – where the Dwarves toast marshmallows.’
‘Marble rye isn’t like celery in a tree!’
‘H.R. Stuff ‘N Junk is H.R. Puff ‘N Stuff’s bad boy cousin that hangs out with Oscar the Grouch.’
‘It’s not even 8am and you’ve already ruined teleportation for everyone.’
‘If they wanted us to use good grammar, they should have made it more easier.’
‘Can you really bake snow?’ – ‘You can if it’s made of marbles!’
‘I’m going to change my name to REDACTED.’
‘Are you ordering bacteria from the internet again?’
‘As long as they don’t hit me with the love fern, I’ll be alright.’
‘He’s not really an actor – he just plays one on tv!’
‘Thank goodness there’s an alternate heat source for you and we don’t have to wait for the repairman to decompose.’
‘Nazi-Zombies. They’re like an evil Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.’
‘You should stop getting all of your ideas off the Beef Jerky Hotline.’
‘Root Beer’s KIND of a fruit… like purple!’
‘At least the Children of the Corn are gluten free!’
‘Death by Slinky… it could happen!’
‘A toaster’s just a vacuum with a phone attached, right?’
‘I’m not sure what Batman would be, as a sandwich.’