'Later on, we can use the mortar and pestle to mash up the teddy bear.'
Author: Kristen
'My memory foam pillow has amnesia.'
‘You don’t smell when you’re in a hotel.’
'You get a lot of condensation on a halfling.'
'You slept on cornflakes, so you wouldn't touch your dinghy in the dark.'
'Butter, sugar, pillow – that's how you make a marshmallow!'
'If he had opposable thumbs he'd take a root beer in a heartbeat.'
'Given you don't wear pants, I'm a bit concerned about what you'll be
putting in the fax machine.'
'Your voice is thick with pastry.'
'My smoothy has a faint taste of #2 pencils.'
'I don't think that anyone should scream because of cotton.'
'It's sounds corny and fatal at the same time.'
'It's like Ben Hur meets the Little Rascals.'
'If you're killing geese when you clean your chimney, you've got problems.'
'I think most exorcisms require one to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement.'
'We usually only get an involuntary manslaughter of blue jays around here.'
'Can you shave with a restraining order?'
'Welcome to the future, where there are many different kinds of meats.'
Wookie pie is like shepherd’s pie with a lot more hair.’
‘I know you didn’t see that because it didn’t really happen.’