'It's even worse when people self-congratulate other people.'
'I don't use chemical fertilizers on my florescent cravat.'
'Llamas and turkeys are complimentary in the Chinese Zodiac.'
'What does dogs eating bones have to do with refining quartz?'
‘What kind of man pronounces his own name!’
'I hear there was once a vicious backwater trade for oblong reptiles.'
'I didn't know that Double Negative Day was not NOT the day after Doughnut Day.'
'You forget how big dolphins are, until one is operating on your spine.'
'Glass shards are a poor substitute for meatballs.'
'My buddy hurt his knee; they want to put a cadaver in his leg.'
'Everyone feels a bit more relaxed when there's some wicker around."
'The squirrel root of evil is EvilEvil.'
'God is like a toaster; he pops up every so often.'
'Nothing says Hawaii like Canada.'
'I don't think you can send SMS from a granola bar.'
'Are you seeing chickens in dust or omens in chickens?'
'Bananas were a staple of the Irish in biblical times.'
'Weebles MUST sleep standing up, unless you're going to stick them upside down in an egg carton!'
'Nothing to see without ears?!'
'Just to set the record straight, I'm not inclined towards, nor interested in, scratching the neighbors.'