'Nothing to see without ears?!'
Author: Kristen
'Just to set the record straight, I'm not inclined towards, nor
interested in, scratching the neighbors.'
'I am not even aware that I'm dead, and neither will you.'
'It's like an ice cream dispenser in the shape of a grocery store.'
'I'll just be happy if, in this culture, wife beaters don't become
formal wear.'
'It's the Santa's Little Helper of helicopters!'
‘If it weren’t for me, we’d be drowning in aardvark parts.’
‘He likes e. e. cummings because he can’t speak in capitals.’
'Did his eyebrow go up on its own? Only when you stuffed it with eagles.'
'It was a Fainting Goat that taught Michael Jackson to moon walk.'
(no subject)
'I always figured Quetzalcoatl would be more into those little round
crackers.'
'You might be a greater menace to the earth than lint!'
'Do you need the remote? I mean… the Heimlich Maneuver?'
'What's the point of being a gypsy if you can't eat swans?'
'I'm not very fond of font flicking.'
'This chocolate bar is calibrated for maximum taste efficiency.'
'Don't tell me you weren't enthralled by my discussion of your eyebrow
ranch!'
'The bacon will find you. It always does.'
'There is a furry butt on my mouse hand.'
'You don't find The Damnation of Faust Christmasy?'