‘He’s not even considering the fact that the pants are letting him lay down.’
Author: Kristen
‘And what IS a supercollider, anyway, but a giant spoon?’
‘Black schnauzers don’t know how to use digital cameras.’
‘You make everything all neat and then somebody comes along and eats your stalagmites.’
‘Cheese is not the plural of Chi.’
‘Small, red-snouted mice don’t carry lasers.’
‘They just hired me to dress for the shoot and gave me a burger and a garden hose.’
‘What does 4 megapixel water taste like?’
‘You’re two cupcakes behind me – share how that makes you feel.’
‘Unbalancing the universe is not an excuse to make pancakes.’
‘It’s not always the smart people who control the cheese.’
‘I’m pretty sure the chicken would clog your shower head.’
‘You didn’t know your soup was missing a dimension?’
‘I have a hat over my head; I’m pretty sure that’s not psychological.’
‘My new year’s resolution was for no more home surgeries.’
‘I experiment with medieval European root vegetables.’
‘How often does curried goat come up in conversation?’
‘It’s like petting the dog, but more purple.’
‘You can’t put lasagna on a trading card. ‘
‘Chocolate’s about eating too much Christmas!’