‘I heard Donald Trump is really just a bunch of cats taped together.’
Author: Kristen
‘Don’t honk the emperor.’
‘The liberalization of women is crazily very pleasant.’
‘You can probably get a lot of underwear out of one grizzly bear.’
‘My soul could use a little more cheese.’
‘All my dreams are scruffy.’
‘What’s a little spring-loaded mayhem among friends?’
‘Pasta On The Brain isn’t an actual medical condition.’
‘How did you know that the one thing missing from these waffles was socks?’
‘You can’t curse frozen yogurt; it doesn’t stick.’
‘It’s exactly like a prophecy, but with less cows and more pants.’
‘It was kinda creepy – you don’t expect to see babies stitched together like that.’
‘After you’ve been flattened into a placemat, you’re sort of beyond help.’
‘Lionel Richie violates the spirit of revenge.’
‘That’s useful if you want to take a drink and all you’ve got is a raccoon.’
‘I don’t think Zombie Reagan would make a good Dumbledore.’
‘I only know one word – well, that’s three right there.’
‘We want you to understand that you ARE the toaster!’
‘We’re not going to feed the old people, just out of respect.’
‘Forever is a long time and the yogurt is finite.’