‘I am in no way responsible for other people’s lopsided body parts.’
Author: Kristen
‘It’s really hard to find clothes when you have more than the usual number of appendages.’
‘The least I know, the better I’m off.’
‘Nothing says ‘I love you’ like a dead butterfly.’
‘It is prerational, sand box, kindergarten behavior masquerading as transrational, spiritually-informed opinion.’
‘You’re always trying to demonize Papa Smurf.’
‘I’ll just highjack an entire culture and slap it on a lunchbox.’
‘Nobody wants to take methane personally.’
‘The future took too long for me to download.’
‘Sometimes it seems like the entire Internet is one, big, beta-test.’
‘What’s your favorite kind of Mexican plankton?’
‘Is nerdwater what you get when you distill nerds?’
‘Is there such a thing as artificial plastic?’
‘Food tastes better when you’re revolving.’
‘It’s like staring into a black hole with halitosis.’
‘I’m sure I would have remembered a song that mentioned Rasputin.’
‘Given the option, I’d much rather have interdimensional brain parasites chewing on my clothing.’
‘I’m sure I would have remembered a song that mentioned Rasputin.’
‘We always knew his class was meeting in the building when we saw midgets dressed up as jesters running around.’
‘I’m sure I’d wake up if I heard my pens being auctioned on E-Bay.’