‘We’re not going to feed the old people, just out of respect.’
Author: Kristen
‘Forever is a long time and the yogurt is finite.’
‘I am in no way responsible for other people’s lopsided body parts.’
‘It’s really hard to find clothes when you have more than the usual number of appendages.’
‘The least I know, the better I’m off.’
‘Nothing says ‘I love you’ like a dead butterfly.’
‘It is prerational, sand box, kindergarten behavior masquerading as transrational, spiritually-informed opinion.’
‘You’re always trying to demonize Papa Smurf.’
‘I’ll just highjack an entire culture and slap it on a lunchbox.’
‘Nobody wants to take methane personally.’
‘The future took too long for me to download.’
‘Sometimes it seems like the entire Internet is one, big, beta-test.’
‘What’s your favorite kind of Mexican plankton?’
‘Is nerdwater what you get when you distill nerds?’
‘Is there such a thing as artificial plastic?’
‘Food tastes better when you’re revolving.’
‘It’s like staring into a black hole with halitosis.’
‘I’m sure I would have remembered a song that mentioned Rasputin.’
‘Given the option, I’d much rather have interdimensional brain parasites chewing on my clothing.’
‘I’m sure I would have remembered a song that mentioned Rasputin.’