‘The nerds were noticably elongated.’
Author: Kristen
‘A ball python is hardly the pinnacle of projectile technology.’
‘It takes a lot more than delayed tuna fish to kill me.’
‘Everyone should be filled with fire retardant love fluff.’
‘Will the Amish grow bananas soon? If they don’t wash behind their ears!’
‘The only thing worse than letting a tentacle slip out in public is wearing those goggles.’
‘Even on DSL you can’t get a bologna sandwich in under 20 minutes.’
‘Apparently, these elves are enlarged to show texture.’
‘Wait! Don’t crush that Dwarf! I’ll get the pliers.’
‘Supreme beings can do all KINDS of things without pianos.’
‘We all have our priorities – some are just more butt-spider related than others.’
‘Do you ever get the impulse to raise certain people from the dead?’
‘A man shouldn’t use immortality as an excuse to let himself go.’
‘It’s not really underwear if it doesn’t have gravel in it.’
‘You don’t sneeze as much when you’re unconscious.’
‘Damn universe and its damn toilet paper!’
‘The goal of any good vacation is to prove moistness.’
‘That’s how I like my soup… easy to slice.’
‘We don’t want to anger the toxic frog!’
‘Nothing strengthens a dieter’s resolve like a good motivational pastry.’