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Out of Context Quotes – Funny Quotations Etc.

Funny quotes that create their own weird context

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Author: Kristen

‘Lives rarely depend on your ability to make a small scratch in a piece of titanium, so we might as well get married now.’

Posted on December 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘Never call the dead an old potato.’

Posted on December 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘It’s difficult to work in a group when you’re omnipotent.’

Posted on December 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘I’m gonna play the odds here and say it probably upsets feminists too.’

Posted on November 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘You don’t know what you’re missing – it’s like a slow boring tennis game if the players were long rectangles.’

Posted on November 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘If my feet were breasts, this would be trampy!’

Posted on November 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘William Faulkner could write an exhaust pipe gag that could really make you think.’

Posted on November 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘You’re not Christ. You’re not Hamlet. You’re not even Ralph Nader.’

Posted on November 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘Do not use where children or pets are present. Avoid eye contact.’

Posted on November 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘Neither of you are poodles!’

Posted on November 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘Wait, did you say you were from the nether-regions? I grew up there!’

Posted on November 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘But then, stink bugs might want to dance the watusi in my shorts, but you have to draw the line somewhere!’

Posted on November 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘Make an aardvark happy and the world is your oyster.’

Posted on November 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘Stop thwarting my attempts to define you with conventional labels!’

Posted on November 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘Would you be willing to repeat that sir, with your pants on this time?’

Posted on October 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘We’d climb a tree and eat a sausage… It built character, and taught us about sausages.’

Posted on October 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘We’ve got a blind date with destiny, and it looks like she’s ordered the lobster.’

Posted on October 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘Don’t worry – you’ll grow another one.’

Posted on October 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘Be forewarned – Most of these stories contain some kind of Danny Whumping’

Posted on October 1, 2000Leave a comment on

‘It’s always a good idea to be able to hear the music we want to listen to, yes.’

Posted on October 1, 2000Leave a comment on

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