‘He has a very strong shallow side.’
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‘Basically, it’s Jesus with gas. It’s funny.’
‘I think we should just be able to knock on the floor and wake up the government.’
‘Sarcasm sure is twinkly!’
‘It’s like tearing a phone book in half one page at a time.’
‘We can belch our way into the astral plane!’
‘Wow, a whole new way to pine!’
‘Do you relish the idea of rubbing nanites in your armpit?’
‘I’m like the cheese plate equivalent of Hermione Granger.’
‘What are you proud about? You didn’t train your blood to be awesome!’
‘That was how the Victorian Internet was run, candles and fiber optics.’
‘I can’t do psychometry without a protective cup!’
‘I’m not too drunk to drive – I’ve only had a little aluminum.’
‘If a woman were made out of metal she’d have barbed wire nipples.’
‘You don’t want to pay for cable and you do WHAT with a potato?’
‘It’s like looking into a box of cupcakes and seeing your soul.’
‘If you don’t want the cow there’s always the option for a human.’
‘And that is why the devil invented teflon.’
‘Someone made a very official looking head freeze.’
‘I’m fine with rats and snakes as long as they’re not packed in styrofoam.’