‘Never trust a cow that tries to sell you a watch.’
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‘What.. I can’t love you AND be paranoid?’
‘Why would the afterlife beep so much?’
‘It’s so comfortable, it’s like a second head!’
‘The nicest liver in the world doesn’t make a bear someone you’d
invite home to dinner.’
‘It’s the kind of boring that takes you by dull surprise.’
‘If you’re going to brandish something it might as well be a goat.’
‘Did you know that you can’t use old medication as gravel walkways, not even in caves?’
‘There’s no such thing as a passenger thong.’
‘Is it good luck if I throw eyebrows over my shoulder?’
‘Pretty much everything’s okay, according to the Geneva Convention, if you use two layers of bubble wrap.’
‘Chicken is a gateway weapon.’
‘I suppose there’s something to be said for NOT getting rabies.’
‘I wonder if anyone besides me has ever drank sink sludge.’
‘Your flash drive has been taken over by a band of ninjas.’
‘I didn’t know her brain crunched!’
‘Nothing worse than clogged brownies.’
‘I think they’ve put the flower pots too tight on their heads.’
‘It is amazing how much of three pounds of pork I can’t eat!’
‘I think monkeys are causing the gravity waves.’