‘I hate things that are not consistent.’ – ‘Me neither.’
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‘We were toasting to doggie dentures?’
‘You don’t want tacos in your sound hole.’
‘You’re like the Yoko Ono of dog food.’
‘A wizard never butters himself. He only butters precisely what he means to.’
‘I think a baconated beverage would just end up being hot ham water.’
‘It’s like listening to a potato chip from inside the bag!’
‘No banjos til you drink your tequila!’
‘Starting to think toast is a self-replicating virus.’
‘You know what they say: deck in, frog out!’
‘If I was a ghost I would definitely comment on people’s towels.’
‘I realize everything.’
‘Oven windows are the greatest inventions since quiche. And vice versa.’
‘If you are doomed to die, you don’t get any cheese.’
‘Finally! A yoga-safe hearing aid!’
‘Audioly… it’s like ravioli only you put it in your ear.’
‘I’ve heard of bathtub gin but never bathtub broccoli.’
‘I think the Higgs boson particles in the wireless router were getting a little red in the face.’
‘Rice and beans are like matter and anti-matter in the same dish.’
‘If you think getting the orange powder from Cheetos on your fingers is bad, wait until you see what time dilation does.’