‘But God did layeth a smacketh down on the egyptians!’
Author Archives: Kristen
‘Some people were just halfheartedly banging on tupperware…I could tell they weren’t really into it.’
‘I’d love to embrace you, but first I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage.’
‘You’re the only one who understands me. Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I care.‘
‘but I wanna sell out to the man!’
‘Hey, I love you… don’t make me cut your brake line!’
‘I’m going to have a near-death experience if it KILLS me!’
‘Brain FOOD, brain CANCER, same difference’
‘Facts schmacts, facts can be used to prove anything that’s even REMOTELY true!’
‘Nothing says Christmas like a cross-dressing cockroach!’