‘We were greeted by the kind of welcome that only a ten foot long “BEEF JERKY” sign can provide.’
‘They were, consistently, more or less, the same as they were.’
‘I’ll ‘self-pity’ YOU!’
‘It’s a good day for plastic clothes.’
‘That nativity scene needs more flamingos.’
‘Nothing like this has ever happened before, certainly in regards to peanut butter.’
‘I’d buy a booster seat made of spam.’
‘Fuzzy pants have never been and will never be art.”
‘I’m so powerful I can’t even walk under the weight of my own clothes.’
‘I was always hoping that someone would come along and sever my ties to reality.’
‘You’ll be no good as an earthquake detector if you don’t pay more attention to your stomach!’
‘Dogs can’t talk because they don’t have opposable lips.’
‘It’s like Jurassic Park, but with pickles.’
‘Don’t let a suitcase full of cheese be your big fork and spoon.’
‘How long does it take a dinosaur to eat a cookie?’
‘It’s pretty damn dangerous to outsource your attention span.’
‘You’ve got a lot of underwear in this episode!’
‘It’s like a soap dish for your face!’
‘What I didn’t know is that I’m highly addictive to small birds.’
‘I think the last place you need a microchip is in your underwear.’