‘Everyone should be filled with fire retardant love fluff.’
‘It takes a lot more than delayed tuna fish to kill me.’
‘The only thing worse than letting a tentacle slip out in public is wearing those goggles.’
‘Will the Amish grow bananas soon? If they don’t wash behind their ears!’
‘Apparently, these elves are enlarged to show texture.’
‘Even on DSL you can’t get a bologna sandwich in under 20 minutes.’
‘Supreme beings can do all KINDS of things without pianos.’
‘Wait! Don’t crush that Dwarf! I’ll get the pliers.’
‘We all have our priorities – some are just more butt-spider related than others.’
‘Do you ever get the impulse to raise certain people from the dead?’
‘It’s not really underwear if it doesn’t have gravel in it.’
‘A man shouldn’t use immortality as an excuse to let himself go.’
‘Damn universe and its damn toilet paper!’
‘You don’t sneeze as much when you’re unconscious.’
‘The goal of any good vacation is to prove moistness.’
‘We don’t want to anger the toxic frog!’
‘That’s how I like my soup… easy to slice.’
‘It would be better if everyone just woke up one day and Bob was the known universe.’
‘Nothing strengthens a dieter’s resolve like a good motivational pastry.’
‘My goat is circling the planet, waxing gigantic and waiting for the moment to eat the continents like sugar-crusted cookies.’