‘If you think getting the orange powder from Cheetos on your fingers is bad, wait until you see what time dilation does.’
‘So, when you eat a black hole, you should start at the center, and not at the event horizon.’
‘I literally haven’t looked up the definition of hyperbole in, like, a million years.’
‘It was disconcerting. One of those moments where you walk into the room, see a cow in your bathtub, and think, “Right. So there’s that.” and walk back out.’
‘You know waffles bring out the pirate in me!’
‘It’s hard to breathe in infrared.’
‘You really don’t want a remote control with a digestive system.’
‘You know what item I refuse to touch? Bathroom spoons.’
‘There’s very little textile work in database design, although I can almost guarantee you that the reverse is not true.’
‘If there is one thing you can say about Isaac Newton, it’s that he was made of meat. ‘
‘If you can’t do the math, then you shouldn’t buy the robot.’
‘That’s how they used to measure time, in number of unicorns.’
‘You say you worked on Wall Street, but you didn’t know about the tacos?’
‘How many organic marshmallow farmers do you think there are in the world?’
‘With friends like these, who needs mixed metaphors.’
‘There’s no such thing as a circle, ever! ‘
‘If you drink reverse polarity water, do you fart a tachyon pulse?’
‘Maybe you need a special brand of wood glue for Calculus?’
‘Right now my internet connection is breaking up due to fish.’
‘Rap doesn’t have many tuba solos.’